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I personally haven't had any experience with any of the colonic boards or other methods other than with Closed and Open Systems. Therefore, you would have to do your own research to find out what is involved in having a session in places which still administer "colonics" using those methods.

By being certified and having practiced on the Open and Closed Systems myself, I am confident enough to talk about some of the major differences between them, and to clarify for you why one is more preferable for most clients than the other.

I see where most practitioners will make strong statements about how much more effective their system is versus the other.

What actually happens is that the colonic schools will have a device for their students to practice on during the course, and it is usually one of the Open or Closed System machines. The school then emphasizes all the benefits of that particular system and how the other system cannot achieve the same great results. Of course, most of the therapists after graduating from school will buy the type of equipment they were trained on, believing that it is the best.

Most colonic places that I call have a strong negative opinion about the competing system without having any personal experience with it. When I ask how they know that the other type of system is inferior, they say that “they covered that in school”.

Having practiced on both systems I now strongly believe that they are both equally effective, and they operate on the same basic concept. However, it is the therapist who operates the system and his/her method of administering the procedure that matters the most. Both Closed and Open Systems are gravity-pressurized; they use temperature-regulated water, with a high quality, built-in filtration system, and the sanitation should be equally strict. The process does not involve the retention of water; and usually an abdominal massage is given during a session to stimulate the colon to recover its natural shape, tone, and peristaltic wave action.

Even though both Closed and Open Systems will do the same job, there are, however, some significant differences that make one system much more preferable for most people.  

Let me take you through a session on each of those two systems and you can decide for yourself which one is more appealing to you.

Your session on the Closed system usually begins with disrobing in private from the waist down. Most places will give you a gown to change into, because accidents during a session do happen. As much as I hate to say that, it is true. Then you lie down on the table, which is a regular massage table, without any vent system built-in. If the therapist is experienced you will more than likely have a smooth, accident-free session.  

By the time the therapist returns to the treatment room you are laying on the table on your left-hand side with your knees bent (looking to your right). So, there is some exposure that some people would rather avoid if they would have a choice.


Getting Ready for Colonic on a Closed System

The therapist will then pre-lubricate and insert the rectal tube into your rectum.

Here is the number one concern most first-time clients (especially men!) have – the size of the tube that will be used during the session. Most people don't care how the machine works as long as it is effective, but the fear of the size of the tube is what stops them from even considering trying the therapy.

Rectal Tubes: Closed System (top), Open System (bottom)

Look to your left to compare the actual size of the tubes that each system uses. If you were never aware of the choices and already had a session with the Closed System, you were probably not even aware of the size of the tube that was used for the session (usually the therapist wouldn’t even show you). And like I said, both systems are equally effective. It is a matter of preference.  

The rectal tube for the Closed system is up to 5 inch long and this is pretty much how far it will be inserted into the rectum. The diameter of it is big enough to ensure that the whole opening of the anus muscle (sphincter) will be blocked during the entire session and hopefully guarantee no leakage around the tube and on to the table.  

If you look at some YouTube videos about colon hydrotherapy sessions on the Closed system you probably have noticed that the therapist holds the tube with one hand during the whole session to ensure that the tube will stay in place. This means that YOU CAN NOT HAVE A PRIVATE SESSION (i.e., be by yourself) WITH THE CLOSED SYSTEM.

The practitioner uses their other hand to operate the unit – rotating cycles of filling you up with water and opening the valves to release the content of your colon.

By the way, EVERY TIME you feel full and need to release the water you have to tell the technician, so he/she will open the valves on the unit for the contents of your colon to flow out.

To avoid leakages and accidents ('blow-outs') on a table the 'filling' cycle is usually done on a slow flow mode, which means that the therapist will fill your colon up with water slowly. In this case the water can get further up into the colon without creating a lot of pressure, therefore not triggering the peristalsis right away (meaning you do not have the urge to push right away).

Any experienced therapist will tell you that an abdominal massage during a session will speed-up the evacuation of old, well-loaded fecal matter.

In order for a technician to give you a massage he/she has to free one of their hands, and it is usually the hand that operates the unit, stopping the 'filling and releasing' cycle. (There is actually a way to free the hand that holds the tube if you know how to secure it under the buttocks).  

This actually works to your advantage. While you are full of water, you are getting a massage which, if it is given correctly, will break loose the old deposits.

The method of filling the colon with a very slow flow and massaging the abdomen while the colon is full is indeed very effective. Because of this technique, there is a belief that the Closed system is much more effective than the Open system.

This is, my friends, only half of the truth! Unfortunately people are not aware that this technique can be easily administered on BOTH systems!

Now let's sum up some of the facts:

While you are lying on the table you are not moving at all. Therefore, an abdominal massage or gently 'shaking' the colon will get more waste out sooner, and you will need fewer visits (which will save you money).

A 20-30 min. massage (which is a lot easier to administer on the Open System) will be much more beneficial than a 5-7 min. massage.

An impacted colon is like a dirty bottle, you need water in it to rinse it out. So your colon has to have water in it during a massage.

While your colon is full of water, the peristalsis will kick in, and start to push the water out.

The next thing you know – there is no water in the colon, and you need another fill.

While you are getting another fill you cannot have a massage at the same time because most technicians will need their hand back to operate the unit.

What most people do not understand is that the therapist can usually perform only one task at a time, which will cause the whole cleansing process to take more sessions.

Wouldn't it be nice to find a way to not have to hold the tube at all; and be able to slow down the water flow to fill up the WHOLE colon; and to have the therapist massage you abdomen at the same time without interruption, so you could release much more and be done sooner?


Talking about disadvantages, I need to point out at another very important fact.

Look closely again at the Closed System Tube:

As I mentioned before, the tube for the Closed System once it is inserted, it completely blocks the opening of the anus; therefore the filling and releasing is going to be only through that tube.

You can see that there are two openings near the tip of the tube. All of your feces must pass into these two holes which are approximately 5/8-inch diameter. This is a fraction of the diameter of what usually comes out when we defecate.  

Most people's decision to have a colonic is based on a feeling of being constipated and impacted. Which means that they have two kinds of feces in their colon: one is 'fresh-formed' and the other is composed of very dense, old, impacted matter. The 'fresh-formed' stool will break down when it absorbs some of the water that would be introduced into the colon and will have an easier time passing through the tube and into the sewer. The 'dense old' chunks will not have enough time to soften right away. Once it is moved out of its place it will be forced out of the colon by peristaltic waves.

Now, you have all these hard 'balls and chunks' trying to come out and getting stuck at the 'exit', because the opening in the tube is not big enough! (If you take a look at the picture you can easily see it yourself). The pressure inside of your colon is building up, and there is no place to release other than on the table (needless to say there is no 'built-in' vent system). That is when the therapist will gently take the tube out, and you make sure that you hold your 'cheeks' tight while you are getting off the table, and go to the restroom.

While you are sitting there the appointment time is ticking away. After you are done there, if you still have enough time left, you can get back on the table, the therapist will reinsert the tube and the session will continue. Unfortunately most places will offer you 30-45 min. cleansing time per visit.

This is where you would need to buy a package of 5-10 colonics.

Your session on the Open system usually begins with disrobing in private from the waist down. You will be able to keep most of your top clothing on. Before the therapist steps out he/she will explain to you how to get on the table and put the rectal tube in. It is very easy to do. You will be given some kind of lubricant and fresh sheet to cover yourself during the session. So, there is no exposure, unless you need assistance with putting the tube in.

By the time the therapist returns to the treatment room you are all covered and the session begins. (Please read 'Your Appointment' section to get all the details).

The Open system’s specially-designed, tailored table has a built-in vent system, which will GUARANTEE a smell-free session for both the client and the therapist in any circumstance. All the knobs to control the water temperature, the flow, and flusher jet to flush your releases (which works pretty much like your own toilet), are within your reach. You can have total control over your session if you choose to.

Most regular clients like their session in private, so they can read, listen to music, or meditate while they are cleansing.

The size of a rectal tube is as small as a pencil and will go in only as far as 1 to 1.5 inches (see the picture comparing the 2 tubes above). You can hardly feel it. Because it is so small, its opening can carry only water. During the session you will be repeatedly receiving water through the tube into the colon and releasing all the contents of your colon naturally, around the tube and out. ANY SIZE of feces can be released easily and naturally. There is no need to interrupt the session to go to the restroom! Everything that is being released is now being passed into the sewer system.

Like I mentioned above, slowing down the water flow will give you superb results. You just need to know when to adjust the flow. Everybody responds to the treatment differently, that is why there is no set-time that will work for all clients.

On your first visit I will guide you through the whole process, so you will understand when the best time for you to change the water flow is. Since everybody responds to the treatment differently, there is no set-time that will work for all clients.

It is also nice that you can release (or push the water out) at any time YOU want, without a need to inform the therapist.

The massage is also a very important part. The Open system will allow a therapist to have free hands during the whole session. Therefore clients can get massages for up to 20-30 minutes straight without interruption!

For those who prefer solitude I can show you what to do and how to massage the abdomen, so that you can get the best results. But if you ask me I would prefer to assist you on your treatments, since I am a little more experienced in this field.

IMPORTANT! While you are very gently but constantly getting water into your colon, the peristaltic waves are constantly pushing the water out. Having a constant massage DURING this process will flush your system in fewer sessions. Also, keep in mind that you will not waste any time having to get off the table to go use the bathroom. You are on the table, uninterrupted, for up to one hour, with or without a therapist (at least this is what we offer to our clients).

One of the strong points that Closed System schools like to emphasize about Open Systems is that “the clients who get colonic on the Open device have to sit in a pile of their own feces during the session”

This is not correct.

Once you expel whatever it is (feces, mucous, water, parasites, bacteria, gas, etc.), everything goes down the drain and into a sewer (don't forget there is a built-in, odorless vent system). Releasing the body's waste during the colon hydrotherapy session is equal to a trip to a bathroom. You do not expect to be dry while you are on the toilet. After all, next to the toilet there is a toilet paper for you to wipe yourself after you are done, to maintain personal hygiene. The Open system unit has a built-in sprayer hose for you to rinse yourself with AFTER the session. You will be COMPLETELY clean before you get dressed. This is a very nice feature since some people do get colonics on their lunch breaks, or before going out on a date (to get a flat stomach, get tighter more hydrated skin, or just to feel better).

I went for my bi-monthly colonic and coffee enema session at a colon hydrotherapy clinic run by a female therapist. A coffee enema is always given, only after a complete machine colonic to make the session more effective. After my machine colonic, I expelled the remaining residual water while on the toilet. I cleaned my backside with toilet paper and a baby wipe provided in the bathroom. When I returned to the treatment room, the therapist had a 2qt disposable enema bag prepared with 103F organic coffee solution. Attached is a disposable silicone rectal catheter approx. 1/2" in diameter. She asks me to assume the left-lateral position for the insertion (left side with both knees drawn toward the chest). She lubricated her right index finger with coconut oil, raised my buttock, and inserted her finger up my rectum about 2". This makes the insertion of the colon tube completely without discomfort. She lubricated the colon tube with a generous amount of coconut oil.

Next, she raised my buttock, and asked me to breathe in....and as I exhaled, she gently slid the colon tube up into my rectum 5"-6". I only felt a little pressure when the tip of the catheter passed my sphincter. It goes in very easy for a deep insertion. She opened the clamp, and I felt the rush of warmth in my lower abdomen. She had me lower my right knee so that I was now in the left-Sims position. I barely felt a little cramping toward the end of the enema. The therapist always administers the solution slowly to minimize discomfort. I held almost all of it when I started having the urge to expel. She gently removed the catheter, and I got down and went to the commode. Most enemas that I've been given in my life have usually been associated with discomfort and embarrassment. But my therapist knows how to administer coffee enemas with absolute comfort and minimum embarrassment.

The onset of hypothyroidism made me very constipated and unable to complete a bowel movement. My metabolism was so slow that food sat in my gut and gave me stomach aches. I looked in the litter box and noticed the cat was out-crapping me.

I allowed this to go on for around 6 months until I was straight up desperate to take a real dump. Like, the kind that Dr. Oz tells you you’re supposed to take, only bigger and multiplied by three. When conventional over-the-counter methods failed me, I turned to colon hydrotherapy.

I chose a body wellness center located underneath a country line dancing club and showed up to my appointment wearing comfy clothes and a smile. My boyfriend was the designated driver because I was legitimately frightened of squirting in my pants afterward.

The owner was disappointingly normal looking; a pretty white lady with mom bangs. I wished she was an older lady with wild gray hair, lots of turquoise jewelry, and maybe a tattoo behind her ear. We basically just talked poop for a little bit, I signed a waiver, and It. Was. On.

She showed me to the room where my treatment would take place. There was a rocking chair for spectators and the table that I was to lie on, which was actually a toilet.

Then she started giving me instructions and I became worried. I was to disrobe my bottom half and lie on the toilet with my knees apart or legs up and my butt next to the drain. There was a package containing a new and sterile plastic nozzle for me to crack open and attach to the water tube.

And I was provided a personal lubricant packet to use on my anus and plastic nozzle and insert it about an inch and a half into my rectum.

Insert it myself? I fucking knew it. I had hoped she would do it for me but I couldn’t ask her to. Fine. The owner left and I did my thing. I had never inserted anything in my ass so I was nervous and excited.

The nozzle was tiny; a hair wider than a pencil eraser. I greased up, felt to make sure my butthole was where I left it, and stuck it in. It felt like nothing, so I kind of wiggled it in and out to double check things. Seriously though, I also did it to find out if I liked it and would want something in my butt later. Didn’t like it, didn’t hate it.

I covered up with the pink fleece blanket and rang the doorbell on the wall to let the owner know I was ready. She came back in and had more instructions for me. She told me when she turned on the water I would feel a warm sensation growing in my abdomen. Then when I felt pressure, as though I had to use the bathroom, I should push all the water out of me as hard as I could.

That confused me. You see, I imagined that this hose put the water in my ass and then a reverse switch would be flipped and the excrement goodness would be neatly flushed out of me via said hose. That is not how a colonic works.

Duped again! Yes, I paid a bunch of money, that I should not have been spending, to push out my own shit.

The owner turned on the water and stayed with me while I got the hang of it. When the water went in I felt like I had a deuce on deck and when I pushed it out I felt like I was making diarrhea. I was lying down and pooping under a pink fleece blanket with a stranger.

She encouraged me to let a lot of water in, almost until it hurt, and then blast all of it out. There was an element of magic because the anus is a crafty little muscle and it held onto the nozzle even when I pushed.

When I got used to what was happening, she set a timer for 45 minutes and left me again. I was on my own. That pissed me off. I kept thinking, “I paid for this!”

I guess I didn’t know what I was paying for. And since I had gone through all the trouble of tapping my own sphincter I supposed I had to soldier on.

I was letting water in and pushing it out for almost 10 minutes and watching the viewing tube in the mirror for signs of life. Just cloudy ass water.

It took until the 15-minute mark to see some action. I had imagined all of the compacted crap breaking down and flying through the viewing tube like space rocks whipping through the milky way. Instead it came out in the form of flakes and crumbs. Not results, in my opinion.

The owner came back in, you know, just to say hi, and saw my lack of results. Once again, she advised me to take as much water in as I could stand and assured me that it was safe. I was officially sick of her and wanted to get this over with.

She left and I got to work letting more and more water into my bum. I figured if there was any danger I would have felt terrible pain and all I had felt were poo cramps so I was in good shape.

I set a goal to let the water in for 20 seconds. I relaxed my anus and watched the clock. The feeling of that much water entering your colon is not unlike the worst diarrhea of your life. But it’s worse because you are willing yourself to do it.

I was breathing like a woman in labor and kept telling myself that the poop baby I had so often joked about with friends was going to fly out of me. But the viewing tube just filled with tan water and fecal specks.

I checked the timer and there were less than 20 minutes to go. I made a decision: FUCK THIS SHIT. I hit the doorbell on the wall to send up my white flag. The owner came in and shut the water off but looked disappointed. It must have come as a surprise to her that I wasn’t into lower G.I. hyper-douching.

She gave me some privacy so I could express any leftover water from my butt into the toilet bed, wipe off, and finally put my pants back on. Aah, dignity.

I entered the colonic experience with optimism and the highest of hopes for bowel relief. I left the colonic experience feeling weirded out and lost. On the way home, I made my boyfriend stop at Marshall’s where I did 3 laps around the shoe section and tried on several pairs I never would have bought. Then I ended up buying a fake leather pocket book that I hate.

That night, I went to my sister-in-law’s bachelorette party and had to use the bathroom at least 4 times to release more ass water. Pissing out of my ass in a public bathroom while a bunch of bachelorettes daintily tinkled and chatted almost made me cry.

Oh yeah, the colonic did not make me regular. A change in medication from a real live doctor did the trick.

In an age of Internet daily deals, we are used to getting invitations from Groupon, LivingSocial, AmazonLocal, and a host of copycat websites. Pay $15 for $30 of food at a local restaurant; buy a cheap vacation for two in Cabo; get 52% off on go-kart racing. Businesses receive less money than they normally would for their goods or services with the worthwhile trade-off of attracting new clientele.

It’s quite common to receive such offers for alternative health treatments (Acupuncture, Reflexology, and Chiropractic seem to be particularly popular), so it didn’t surprise me one morning to receive a Groupon offer for “Up to 57% Off Colon Hydrotherapy” at a small clinic less than two miles from my house. The deal read, in part:


Like a house, your body should be thoroughly cleaned every so often to sweep away stubborn crumbs and ensure that there are no poltergeists hiding inside. Flush out unwanted bodily residents with today's Groupon [for] Colon Hydrotherapy.

In a Nutshell: FDA-approved LIBBE equipment gently flushes toxins & waste from colons with disposable nozzles that expel purified water.

The ad contained more description and weak attempts at humor, but I’ll break it down for you: Colon Hydrotherapy (a.k.a. Colonic Irrigation) attempts to remove “toxins” from your digestive tract by placing a tube in your rectum and pushing water into your body to make you expel the contents of your colon.

This is the point at which most of us would hit the delete key and read the next email. Not me, though. I knew immediately that I had to buy this. After all, on my podcast, my co-host and I investigate fringe science and supernatural claims first hand. “We show up so you don’t have to,” is our motto. We’d already had listener requests to try colon cleansing, and there’s no way I was going to pay the full $90 to have water flushed up my rear end. This was my golden opportunity. I called my co-host Carrie Poppy to see if she wanted one as well (you could buy up to 2 additional sessions as gifts). She demurred: “Water up my butt? No thanks. I’ll try the Master Cleanse.” (Carrie may have thought she was getting off easy, but her post tells otherwise.)


After a few months of putting off the grand event, I finally called for an appointment, and was given a set of instructions:


Eat lightly the night before: stay away from red meat, starchy foods, and heavy stuff [heavy stuff?], alcohol or caffeinated drinks. Eat lightly the day of. Don’t eat anything at least two hours before your session. Drink plenty of water. Dress comfortably. Bring Groupon.

I followed all the dietary instructions dutifully and met Carrie the next day at the clinic. Upon entering the suite, we found ourselves in a nicely-decorated office with dark, saturated walls, and some beautiful artwork and furniture. Behind the reception desk was a very young-looking woman; Carrie and I estimated somewhere between seventeen and twenty years old. I fiddled with the business cards on the desk and asked, “Who will I be seeing today?” “Oh, I’m your therapist,” she said. Clearly she hadn’t been doing this for long, which was less than reassuring. As I went to use the restroom one last time, Carrie prodded my soon-to-be-prodder about how long she had been in the business. “So how long have you been doing colonics?” “Oh, well, I used to be in massage.” “Uh huh. And how long have you been doing THIS?” “Well, my sister used to have chronic constipation, but thanks to colonics, she’s all clear now.” Clearly, Carrie was getting nowhere. It was time to put my money where my... openings are.

Before receiving the treatment, I had to go through five pages of information and forms. They wanted my contact information, the reason for my visit, whether I’d ever had a colon cleanse before, and my history of medications or diseases. I signed a consent form stating I wouldn’t hold them liable if something went wrong. “Oh no!” I thought, “What could go wrong?”

The next step was to proceed into the treatment room. At the far end was a curved, plastic bed with some towels laid down for my head, small side ledges for my feet, and a big gully running up the middle to catch all of my excretions. The bed was hooked up by a series of tubes to a wooden cabinet on the wall with all the controls. Natasha showed me where I’d sit on the bed and instructed me to wear a plastic glove, remove the packet of lube from the end of the tube, and then use the gloved hand to place the tube “at least two and a half inches” into my... self. She could see the shock on my face, and tried to make me feel better. “Some clinics use a tube that’s THIS big!” she said, cupping her hand about four inches in diameter. I nodded weakly at the consolation.


The plastic bed where I would do the deed.


After Carrie and Natasha had left the room, I undressed from the waist down and approached the bed with some trepidation. I’m almost thirty years old, and never in my life has anything traveled up my rectum; it’s been a decidedly one-way street. The tube was rigid, and perhaps three-quarters of an inch thick. On the wall in front of me a poster offered inspiring phrases in all caps: “FALL IN LOVE. NEVER GIVE UP. BELIEVE IN MAGIC. LEARN MORE. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. TRY NEW THINGS. AND ABOVE ALL… MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT.” Gee thanks, poster. I took a deep breath and inserted the tube, then lay back on the hard plastic and buzzed for Carrie and Natasha. I was, indeed, counting every moment.

Natasha and Carrie returned, and Natasha came over to the bed and peeked under my towel to see if I’d installed the tube properly. I had. She then went the wooden cupboard and got the machine started up. It had the steady hum of a large fish tank. She informed me that the ideal temperature was between 97 and 104 degrees Fahrenheit, and a sensor would stop the flow if the water became too hot. I was then asked which level of pressure I wanted: low, medium or high. “Low, please. Let’s start with low.” The water started to flow out of the tube and into my rectum, and I had the very odd sensation of having my belly inflated from within. Natasha told me to let my colon fill up as much as possible and then release naturally. I looked over at Carrie for moral support. She was grinning naturally.

The inspirational print was less than inspiring.


There was a bit of panic at first. It was a new, uncomfortable sensation, and I quickly felt like I needed to release my bowels.  Normally one is sitting on a toilet, not a bed, and in private, not with two women watching, so my modesty made me hold out a bit at first until I nearly felt the urge to throw up (we were informed that sometimes people do vomit). I pushed, and a bunch of liquid rushed out into the gully of the bed. From there, gravity and water flow pulled it into a clear, plastic tube that ran alongside the bed: a viewing gallery for my colonic contents. It was relatively clear at first, and my new concern became whether or not this tube was going to fall out my backside. I turned to Carrie and said, “I am worried my butt is going to push this out. That’s been its job my whole life!” She guffawed. 

Natasha explained what we should look for in the clear tube, and Carrie came over to watch the refuse pour out of me. Natasha advised us how to find yeast in there, which she said is the primary cause of beer bellies. “You can lose weight very quickly with colonics,” she said. Most importantly, I would also be expelling “toxins,” she claimed. When we asked what toxins were, she said they resulted from smoking, alcohol consumption, and eating a lot of meat. I informed her that I don’t smoke, rarely drink, and don’t eat much meat, but she insisted that there were still many harmful toxins in the body and that this process would help remove. Carrie and I asked what they looked like and what they were made of. This stumped Natasha, who finally said she’d forgotten the answer because no one had asked in a long time. There was an answer, she assured us, and it was taught to her at the training class she attended in Las Vegas. She’d have to go look it up.

At this point Natasha left the room, and Carrie and I were left to talk about the experience. I continued to push stuff out of me in the world’s longest bout of diarrhea. Carrie took pictures of what came out (we have no shame) and then researched online so she could tell me all the potential harmful side effects of Colonic Irrigation (she has no shame). I finally noticed the ceiling, with its obligatory panels of cloud images above my head. Really relaxing, thanks.

Natasha came back in every now and then over the following hour; once to cool down the water when it had become too hot, and another time to turn the pressure up to medium (the poster on the wall inspired me to DREAM BIG, though I stopped short of high pressure).

Carrie snapped this shot of me wearing my "who puts us up to this?" face.


The last step, after an hour of flushing, was to restore some of the bacterial fauna that I’d lost. Natasha returned with a tall glass of cloudy water and informed us that it was a probiotic, which would replace some of the good bacteria my colon needed. She poured the contents into a tube in the cabinet and then flipped a switch to push it into my colon. “Just try to hold that in you for two minutes,” she said. “Oh, hey, no problem,” I said, chuckling at my own anguish.  After that last step, the machine was turned off, and I was left alone again. I removed the tube, which was more difficult than getting it in there to begin with, pushed out every last bit I could, and then got dressed again.

When I returned to the lobby, Carrie still hadn’t managed to get a definition of toxins. We talked with Natasha a bit longer and asked her if she’d heard the rumor about John Wayne and Elvis Presley having died with pounds of decayed matter stuck in their respective colons. It’s an urban legend, but apparently popular as an incentive to get Colon Hydrotherapy. “Oh yes, that’s absolutely true!” she exclaimed. “I saw a picture of John Wayne’s colon!” We asked if she could find the image online, and she made a few failed attempts before we let her off the hook. “It’s okay. We’ll find it,” I said. We didn’t.

We said goodbye and left the clinic. Despite our very gracious and friendly host, and our sample size of one treatment, we left pretty well assured that having your colon washed out is fairly risky business and unnecessary as a therapy. You may have to undergo such a treatment at some point as preparation for a medical procedure, but it should not be necessary as a means of removing toxins from your body. Our digestive systems, functioning normally, do a pretty darn good job of expelling waste material on their own. Short of a doctor’s order, I recommend you pass on Colon Hydrotherapy. There are other ways to TRY NEW THINGS and MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT. You’ll save some money, a fair amount of your time, and a healthy dose of your dignity.


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